Colfax is Burning

First, let me just get this shit out of the way: I am a Starbucks Crackhead.  I drink it almost every day.  I try to speak their stupid language and order it without deviating from the menu (which is atypical for me-but more on that later).  The large majority of the time, I tip.  I have a Starbucks Gold Card.  Fucking judge me all you want, it’s 2011, remember? I am owning shit.  No pretensions.  That being said, the Starbucks drive through on Colfax and St. Paul serves their coffee so fucking hot, it burns my mouth EVERY TIME.  Doesn’t matter the time of day, or whether you drive thru or walk in.  Now, my husband used to serve coffee to real assholes at the Barnes and Noble downtown.  When I told him about the throat burners at this Starbucks, he said “were you on your phone?” Shit, maybe.  Then he said, “did you tip?” Uhhh, I think so?  According to him, those people who don’t tip and/or are on their phones get their coffee so hot, it’s meant to burn them.  The barista equivalent of spitting in your food, if you will.  Ok, I get that.  And I get that this particular coffeehouse is not only on Colfax, but it’s right by East so these people have all kinds of assholes to serve and reasons to hate their job (let’s avoid the whole ‘then why don’t they just quit' argument at this point).  Armed with all of this information, I go back and try again.  Still fucking too damn hot to drink.  Burned my tongue, mouth and throat AGAIN.  Since I am a crackhead, I know what my drug is supposed to taste like.  The last time I went,  I asked them in a tiny voice if they could maybe, just maybe serve it about 10 degrees lower than normal.  Like I said, I try not to be “that girl” and deviate from the menu or have too many special requests.  The response was, “Our coffee is served at 170 degrees.  Are you saying you want it at 160?” (Just so you know, I was aggressively typing those words to show their irritation with me).  “Um, yes please”, I replied.  I pull up, tip them, turn the music down, not on the phone, check check check.  All smiles, and the girl working the window smiles back.  Drive away, take my first sip and the shit is HOTTER THAN EVER.  Fucking bastards.  But like a typical addict, I still come back for more.  Only now I simply stick to my regular dealer on the mall.