For a while now, I have been considering having a “real” wedding that includes wearing a white dress and picking out the flowers, the colors, the bridesmaids and best men, the general feeling of happiness and awe. My wedding day, while spontaneous, only included the last elements on that list. More and more I’ve been thinking how much fun that would be and that even though I've watched so many of my now married friends experience that planning/having a wedding is a royal, expensive pain in the ass, I could find a way to do it cheap and easy. Then I start thinking about it in reality, which leads me to thinking about how planning a wedding makes women fucking crazy. The amount of time, energy and money that goes into the process is insane, and for what? A day, ONE day of your life that you will only remember via pictures because you were so “happy” (read: busy, stressed, accommodating everyone but yourself) that the day just "flew by" and you don’t remember any of it! I also know that many men and women look fondly at their wedding day when other people are listening, but if these people are truly honest and reflect on everything surrounding that event, I highly doubt the memories are all warm fuzzies. Those honest folk out there have told me the truth, and there's at least one (if not more) little nugget of a story that reveals that truth.
*Please note, I’m not disregarding the wedding day at all here, so those of you who want to argue about it can calm down. I started the post off saying how I want one!*
So the idea of being even crazier than I already am doesn’t really appeal to me. I deal with everyday stress and life pretty well (read: self-medicate) but having to plan a wedding on top of my daily family and occupational workloads is enough to encourage the self-medicating as it is. Throw in a dose of overbearing, yet passive-aggressive personality that is the wedding planner (“oh, you like that color of pink for your flowers, that’s fun!”) and I’d be pushed straight over the edge (send me to Pueblo and call it done). The whole experience of a woman getting married and therefore has an excuse to be a raging bitch is so common and fascinating there’s a TV show about it!
Then we have this next step of crazy: people who want to include their dogs in their weddings (http://www.bestweekever.tv/2011-02-24/45-photos-of-ring-bearer-dogs/). I get that, for these people, pets are an important part of their life and that they do everything with them. But do these pets really need to be included in the wedding party photos, wearing fucking clothes to boot? And whose idea was this? The bride’s, the groom’s or both? Does the bride say “honey I’ve got a GREAT idea!” and then because she’s been so crazy about everything else in the wedding planning that the future husband is too scared to speak up and say “that is the stupidest idea I’ve heard yet”? Because face it, men don’t really care about all the minute details and intricacies-they don’t have an opinion on the precise shade of cream that you use for the napkins or whether the hue of coral on the invitations matches the hue of the flowers that will be on the tables at the reception. Men are ultimately more concerned with whether or not there will be food, booze and some action later. Ok , and maybe a few other things--like, oh I don’t know, whether or not the ring bearer is a dog! But in this case, do these men just realize that they have to choose their battles and this is not a battle worth fighting? Or are they truly that into the idea, and if so--what’s their excuse? At least the bride can use the wedding planning as her justification.
After careful consideration, and upon reflection, maybe it’s not worth it after all. I mean, I did get the most important thing out of my wedding day-that element of happiness and awe. Therefore I've decided that the money and energy spent will be put to much better use on a vacation.
