Thimble the Fairy

Recently I went to a kids birthday party with my husband and daughter.  It was for a four year old, I was slightly hung over, and it was in Evergreen (about a 40 minute drive up the mountain).  Nothing says Awesome like driving to a party on the weekend, in bad weather, hung over and tired, where I only know a handful of people.  We arrive and instantly I am disappointed: looks like many of the wives have "opted out" of this party--whereas the husbands all know each other and are all Hi-Five Happy (no matter that my husband gave me an opportunity to opt out and I chose not to).  I get some food for myself and my daughter and squeeze into a tiny chair at the kids table, since that's all that's available.  The hosts have done well by their daughter, with fancy party favors and an immaculate woodland-themed cake.  I finish eating and realize that since no one is acknowledging me, I will go to the basement to take a tour of the new play room.  As I am standing at the top of the stairs trying to figure out the baby gate, I see a woman at the bottom of the stairs.  This full grown woman (I mean, she's probably pushing forty and that's being generous) is wearing an outfit of all white, with boots that lace up her legs.  Her brown hair has pine cones hanging from it and a wreath of leaves and flowers at the crown of her head.  And she's wearing wings.  She pulls a small wooden flute out of her pocket and starts to play while ascending the stairs.  In the mental state I'm in, I am thoroughly confused until she asks for the birthday girl.  I backpedal, and start to call for the girl.  Turns out this lady is actually a fairy!  Her name is Thimble, and you can Google her if you want more information.  She comes into the party and proceeds to gather all the children around, speaking softly and offering sweet trinkets to the children: packets of bird seed to put on their windowsills; scrolls with "wishes" on them; glitter, I mean fairy dust to sprinkle on their heads.  My favorite was when she was asked if her wings were real, she replied, "of course they are!  Are the toes on your feet real?"; and when asked if she could fly for the kids, she said the police told her she could only fly in her own forest, otherwise she might get hit by a car (according to Zoe-I was too busy making smart remarks to hear her response). Naturally she was a huge hit with the little girls.  I will admit, I was somewhat mesmerized, but for very different, slightly judgmental reasons.  A few nights after the party, I stayed up late cleaning the house while the rest of my little family slept.  The next morning, my husband gets up and after a while makes a comment to the tune of "oh looks like someone cleaned last night".  Always prepared with a sarcastic remark, I say "yeah it would appear that way.  SOMEONE cleaned the house.  Matter of fact, it was probably the magical cleaning fairy".  My daughter, who always has such perfect timing, says "I know who it was!  It was Thimble!  Thimble the Fairy came to our house in the middle of the night and cleaned!".  Yes, darling.  It was Thimble.  The Mother Fucking Cleaning Fairy.  Now watch out before the shoe I was just putting on lands in the wrong place.